Hearing my mother talk about the wonder of thongs isn't something i needed to hear >_<
She did remind me of two stories about myself tho.
1. How i complained to a friend of hers about her and my aunt wearing thongs in their 40's. I was like 13 okay!! I don't even remember how this conversation started but my aunt did get mad at me for talking too much.
2. When i was about 16 I got mad at my mom for not going to a doctors appointment with me and i told her we could have gone together to her then boyfriends house after my appointment. She asked if i really wanted to be outside the door when they were getting intimate. I screamed out: "you still do that?!?!"

Today the sun set early, maybe it's because of the time change but around 5 it was already getting dark. It was pretty cold too. I finally got my frying pan =] cheap but seems to work well. I christened it by making chocolate chip pancakes when i got home.

Thanks to family guy i know that Bette Midler can sing.

Debbie Jr. lives!!!!!

Woohoo she worked!! Maybe she missed the pc idk wth was wrong but she worked like a charm. I'm still putting all my files on my computer, can't take any chances.

I swear that a guy in the lead group in the parade had a giant marijuana cigarette and was waving it at us. What the heck else could it have been?
The parade was fun. I'm in pain from standing on tip toes on uneven grounds but it was worth it. The witch & wizard marching band was awesome and the cutest and funniest thing i saw were the two toddlers dressed up as Obama and his wife with two adults playing bodyguards, earpiece included. I lost sight of my friends pretty often but always managed to catch up. Kinda hard to miss the mad hatters' gigantic white wig.

Two more hours until all the files finish transferring and why on earth did i decide to do laundry now >_<. Only two loads but grrrrrrr i'm sleepy!! Only seven more to go T_T. Why do i wait so long to do it in the first place? I never even remember when i do it but it couldn't have been that long ago.

Friend on you tube sent me a Don Hertzfeldt animation. It's pretty awesome and i now know where kelloggs steals the ideas for their pop tart commercials ^_^

Woohoo laundry is done!!! Gonna get it then hit the sack!!!

Gigidy... >_> ...sack... <_<

When i turned 20 i always jokingly said "omg i'm almost 40!".
Yesterday, out of nowhere, i realized that in five and a half years i'll be thirty...
Crap.
Oh well...T_T...time to enjoy the rest of my 20's...T_T...
Like i haven't been doing that already?

So yay today is Halloween and all i want to do is sleeeeeeeeeeppppppp.

I haven't worn contacts since i got my new glasses so i decided to wear them today. I'll be wearing a mask for the parade and contacts are the way to go. I heart my braids ^_^ My mom hates them but i don't care :)

Finally bought headphones after mine died about two months ago.
Happy happy joy joy ^_^
And of course i had to keep listening to Puddle of Mudd.
After the album finished, Debbie Jr. stopped working. I tried turning her on, resetting her, but no response. I plugged her in when i got home hopping its her battery. If she doesn't come back to life i thank her for saying good bye by letting me listen to the whole album. But don't die damn it!!! I neeeed you!!!!
Damn you best buy and your messed up repairs that voided my warranty!!!!
So as shes Charging i'm putting all my music files on my desktop, something i really didn't want to do but i guess i have no choice in case something happens.
I also looked up new ipods >_>
Why don't people consider them mp3 players? They aren't that special. Do stores get paid for classifying them separately from other mp3 players? If they do weird. But wow 120 gig for less than i bought Debbie Jr., a 30 gig. The touch looks pretty sweet but classic all the way.

Don't die Debbie Jr.!!!!

I don't want to do the laundry today!!!!!

Wow i decided to buy strawberries today and they tasted like real strawberries!! AKA super sweet and flavorful. Hard for me to describe. Why are blueberries so expensive? I like them but come on it's a small little box. I forgot how much it was but i was like "omg i'll get frozen ones another day."

Omg look look at the time, i have to do laundry T_T

♥ I heart my braids ♥

I love it when the sky is dark and the sun finds a way to shine, it looks pretty. Now that the sun is setting the sky is actually clearer.

I need to stop listening to the same Cd's over and over again.

Time for evil laundry -_-

SO two days ago i decided to try braiding my hair, something i used to do when i was bored and watching tv that made my cousins laugh.

This is now replacing my lame ass bun.
I'm free!!!

Meh, i cant take a good picture of it but its better than before and apparently i have no problem going out with it cause i did it twice last night. The braids don't last but i'll be damned if i have to do this everyday. Every other day ftw.

I need to talk to strangers more. Yesterday i went to the store and started stuttering, it was weird. I was perfectly fine when i was home and i don't think a 5 minute walk in the windy cold cold night wearing shorts and a sweatshirt will cause this. Okay maybe it was the cause but my teeth weren't chattering soooo who knows.

How the hell do i mistake one word to a song i almost know by heart twice?

Actual lyric: i love the way you smack my ass
In my fuzzed mind: 1. i love the way you wipe my ass
2. i love the way you scratch my ass
Wtf Debbie? they don't even come close to the lyrics...i think...idk anymore.

I wonder if i can come up with a costume by friday. I highly doubt it but if i could find a few big boxes i think i could have something to work on. Tho i totally doubt i'm gonna go out looking for them on the streets...ew. Or asking store owners for boxes...Fear O.O

Blah, peace.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy i wish i could do that in real life. Just have a nice scream. My lungs are aching for one.

Need to get ready to go out and having nothing to do is bad really bad. I'm thinking of new majors.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's bad. I changed it so many times and this is not the time to think of them again.
Yea i wanna go back to school for nursing but seriously Deb, med school? you've got to be insane.
But if i actually do my work it'll be ok. Homework for the win no?
No!! stick to reading stuff!
But i promi...
Shut up and go get ready!!!
Ok  T_T


When i want to run i should just do it. Wanted to yesterday but my cursed cramps had to be there. 

Tomorrow i go to the park! Without my camera T_T

I need a bike.


She Fucking Hates Me!!

Met a girl, thought she was grand 
fell in love, found out first hand
went well for a week or two
then it all came un-glued

in a trap, trip I can’t grip
never thought 
I'd be the one who would slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

she fuckin' hates me
trust
she fuckin' hates me
La La La love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

she was queen for about an hour
after that, shit got sour 
she took all I ever had 
no sign of guilt 
no feeling pain, no

in a trap, trip I can’t grip
never thought 
I'd be the one who would slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

she fuckin' hates me
trust
she fuckin' hates me
La La La love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

[Guitar and drum set  solo]

that’s my story, as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now it’s over, and I'm glad 
‘cause I'm a fool for all I've said 

she fuckin' hates me
trust
she fuckin' hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

la la la la la la la la la love
trust
la la la la la la la la la love
trust
la la la la la
and she tore my feelings like I had none
trust
she fuckin' hates me

Ah memories.
During i believe my last conference with NYPIRG we were singing this song on the bus. They stopped singing and i had a solo.
I miss our old group.

Hiking on Sunday woohoo!!
Seems like a good park only need to find it. If Debbie likes, Debbie goes more often.

For some reason I'm afraid of willow trees. I don't know why they just seem super creepy to me. FMC park is filled with them, some are huge. Maybe I'm getting unused to trees.

Saturday I'm forcing myself to go to church. Maybe in a few months i can force myself to go to confession. Being religious is so hard ;_;

I try my best to be open minded about almost everything. I totally fail at it but i try. Sometimes i think certain people are idiots but if told that they freak and i end up face first in dog poo. Not literally but i think I'd prefer it. I don't know how to talk to people, avoiding people, staying silent, disappearing is my thing. Maybe if i spoke more as a kid I'd be as fluent vocally as i am....mindaly?....in my head.

Past experiences probably make people be one sided on everything. I tried not saying anything when i disagree with stuff and just going along to avoid confrontation but it never worked for me. Fights about religion were too fun in school and nowadays unfortunately the things i have arguments about i don't know about them as much and personal experience is what i seem to lack in those fights. One of these days I'll say "Fuck your past. Get over it and grow the hell up moron." and I'll get ready to get punched, stabbed or shot depending on the person.

Ok so maybe i am selfish but after a while people need to get over things.
*Look whose talking.*
Ok fine, don't let it interfere with your life.
*Yea right.*
Shut up. -_-

Today was day two of running (mostly walking). I wish i could use a track but rather than paying 4 dollars for a metro card to use the track at my friends school i walk 20 minutes to go to the park filled with geese emptying their bowels all over the place.

I used to love going to that park. I've gone there a few times since moving here but i never really looked around. I definitely have to bring my camera next time. Saw my first bird of prey not in captivity, it was trying to catch a squirrel. That was the coolest thing ever and it flew pretty close to me. Would have been a perfect picture. The little squirrel escaped unharmed hanging upside down on a tree trunk. Saw another squirrel in a birds nest. Well halfway in it. He was leaning on a tree branch while standing in it. Pretty cute. If it doesn't rain tomorrow i'll go take a few shots.

I never expected a tea party to be fun.
Yesterday two of my friends came over and after eating a certain someone suggested a tea party -_-. I was against it. But it went forward and it was awesome. Only rule was that we had to speak in a British accent. I also didn't expect my mother to laugh at us but it was good that she was home cause she served as our maid >_> not that she knew <_<. Imagination is awesome. Next up french tea party. hon hon hon. I need something to do!!!!!

It annoys me when i want to write and can't find anything to write, or i forgot what i want to say. A tape recorder would be awesome for me.

I am now more of a James blunt fan and not because i recently found out his song said fucking high lol.

About three days ago i found out a British show i like is going to have an American remake, in fact several shows that i like will be remade for prime time American TV. I got a bit annoyed at this because i keep thinking of how they fucked up coupling, a show i absolutely love. Lets hope lessons were learned and nothing goes wrong. Saw the life on mars marathon yesterday, haven't seen it since it came out and missed tons of episodes. I really want to see footballers wives again too cause of school i barely got to see the first season and gave up on the next ones.

Birthday party was good. Did nothing as usual except for scaring my cousin and cranking up the music and dancing when some guy parked his car near us. Anti social ftw. We were surfing youtube while everyone else was having fun.

A fourth plant sprouted. Number three is at the stage one and two were before the decapitation. As for one and two, one of them is drying out while the other is at a standstill but the stem is soft unlike three so i'm guessing death is imminent. I'm not planting anymore seeds. And i'm sure the lack of sun isn't helping them.

Manly men really do like pink. I found out that its my uncles favorite color. I got a kick out of finding out about it.

Peace.

Interesting fruit.
Smelly fruit.
A must try.
Decided to try it today with a friend. Searched long and hard (bull)and found it. It was delicious, barely any smell. WTF is wrong with those guys on tv that give it a bad rep. Burping wasn't very pleasant after eating it but that isn't hard to get over.
Three hours later the odor attacks, nausea follows and no matter how far i keep the bag away the smell hits when you least expect it. "Lets go home and give some to my mom". She claims to have a bad sense of smell so why not?
Train ride was not fun and a certain noob kept on putting her head in the bag and inhaling deeply. No it wasn't me! Gosh.
Kept wondering if others smelled it. A few people next to us turned their heads away especially when we move the bag. "Ah yes enjoy the odor, a nice strong onion smell there" *gags*.
When i got off the train the smell was so strong i decided against letting my mom have it. It was unrefrigerated for so long it might have become rotten. But i never expected the smell to get this way. So bye bye interesting fruit that i will never go near again, peace be with you.

When i was walking up the hill to go home there was a big gray cat. They usually ignore me when i call to them but this one raised its tail, came to me and let me pet her. I ♥ cats!!!

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused,
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one

I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing

I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Just when you think you've got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do and don't try to save me

I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

I'm a bitch
I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt
When you suffer I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb
I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Yea we fight and stuff but last night i had a dream about hating her. It was really weird too. She picked up a teddy bear that seems to belong to me and started chopping off the arms and legs with scissors. I've never seen that bear before but i was really upset, mainly had random screams with tears running down my face and door slamming. I woke up puzzled wondering if i really do hate her that much.

On Friday night my aunt, mom and i were driving to the store for some grocery shopping. Earlier in the day before her surgery when we were alone i asked her if she and her best friend have feelings for each other. Hes always around, they've been friends for almost twenty years and i think they look good together. She seemed a bit surprised that i asked her and said no they're just friends.Later on in the car my mom told my aunt about what i said then she, my aunt, and i were making jokes about it. Last night my mom went to someones retirement party and she invited him, they came home later and were watching tv. Before i fell asleep i heard her tell him about what i said, this woman never keeps her mouth shut -_-
This morning she told me they're a couple now =]
I couldn't help but smile. Hes had feelings for her for years but never said anything. And hes a really nice guy. Now if only they would get married and preggers to give Deborah a little brother and sister to torture. It's never too late! Funny how he was joking with my mom about giving me siblings.

P.S: Oh God please don't let them have sex on my mothers bed. I watch tv and sometimes sleep there.

So on Friday my mom had her surgery and all went well. She felt no pain thanks to good old fashion meds. We spent the week end in long island and the more time i spend away from my family members the more awkward i feel when i see them again. Now i stay silent with them like i used to when i first started coming to the US after the embargo. I annoys me, none of us changed but it's just weird to me. It was raining a lot on Friday and when i went outside i found a slug. I usually walk away from those guys but i guess i was in a i don't give a damn about the consequences mood and i picked it up. Took a while lol those guys stiffen up when you touch them and take forever to crawl on my hand to i just had it go on a leaf.

Pictures.


I found him/her to be pretty cool.

So later in the day after playing with the slug i decided to check up on them and make sure they aren't poisonous. I forgot if they are but this picture will forever be remembered...i think.

If you haven't guessed what this is already i'll tell you. It's slug sex. They're hermaphrodites. That big clearish thing are the penises. What makes this even more fun is that they have a curly penis that comes out of a hole next to their head. Even more fun news, if they can't separate the penises they will bite it off thus becoming female. I had to pause and laugh at this.

Friday it was raining pretty hard and i had a leak on the top of my window. I removed the blinds and put one of my buckets to catch the droplets still got my bed and floor a bit wet tho. Took some pictures of the three musketeers before i left.

Pictures.


Their first leaves were coming ♥ so i watered them and went on my merry way. When i came back the leaves were fully out and they were looking happy. Until i put the blinds back and it fell side first in the plant pot knocking it over and chopping off the new leaves and hurting the third plant. I really wanted to cry. I hope they survive. My phone is being a bitch and i can't send myself the pics so none for now.

Well i'm off to either sleep or play Pokemon.

Peace.

Yay this morning i noticed a third seed coming out. Slowly but surely these babies will grow. I'm trying to take one picture per night and last night the two that were there were the same size.

Pictures!!



I think i have PMS. Yes i get angry easily but because of how i was before i got my period i plan to take notes and see what i come up with.

Another picture and now i know that my phone does take big pictures.

So about a month ago i went to some store with Dee and as we were looking around this gem was found.

I think it was an energy supplement. We just died laughing with the picture. The womans mouth is slightly open...its just wow.

So i went to the doctor Monday and the noise in my ear might be tinnitus. Most likely culprit, my acne pills because it is a side effect. But it's weird cause i've been taking those for almost two years and for this to happen now is like wtf. So new acne pills and yay only once per day and oh please no more migraines. The old pills killed me with those and made me cling to excedrin like a baby to its mama teet...or is it tit...idk.

Two more days till my moms surgery. I'm going to long island. Help a little and see the cat ♥ I love that cat ♥♥♥♥! I guess i'll see the rest of the family too.

Time for me to pop some advil and lay down, my cramps are killing me.

So yesterday i was angry, friend came over and made me angrier then went to bed. Woke up not angry but volatile. Had a good day not being angry, easily irritable but calm. Get on the train and wish for a fist fight with said friend cause she pisses me off. Ride for maybe an hour and a half in silence with me wanting to punch her or maybe gouge her eyes out while laughing maniacally. Get to my place in silence, Shes ready to go home i remind her of her plant then magic. Our plants grew!!!! What a weird way to calm me down and break the ice. We checked on them yesterday and there was no sign of life. In about 12 hours the little guys grew, well two of them did for each of us. And now peace is restored.

Pictures!






Aren't they awesome?!?! You can see the big one and the little one is next to the big rock next to the big one. My cell takes horrid pics. Only three more to grow <3

So we went to Red Hook today and were disappointed. Food was not what we expected but the drinks were good. Juices not alcohol. Even got disgusting cookies from Ikea. Well we have to try things at least once. Next up the interesting Durian fruit in china town. Why do we torture ourselves this way?!?!?!

I think i got a tick bite from when i was sitting on the grass. I found the tick and took it out i'm not even sure if it was a tick but the site hurts right now. Well hopefully i see the doctor tomorrow i'll tell them about this and see if they can check me for tick stuff.

Don't be lime or deer tick please!!!!! Tho i think lime disease is caused by deer ticks...

I also got ten acorns from the park and yes i am going to try to grow one or more, i need to get my farming level up ^_^

I feel sick!!! and i hate being late T_T

Adios.

I am one anti social bitch.

Or maybe I'm just randomly pissed again.

Blah.

Going to red hook tomorrow, a few soccer matches will be fun to watch.

The church thing was ok, the people there are nice. I was going to go to church today but forget that. I wanted to be pissed...at nothing...or maybe something i haven't figured out yet.

Got all the badges in Pokemon just need to beat the final four but first must train Pokemon to level 50 or higher.

I'm just bored that's probably why i get angry.

My twin is here peace lj.

Today was a good day. Dee and i went to look for this fair type thing thinking it was everyday (damn you lying tv people) only for it to happen on the week end. It makes sense but it was still annoying.

Went to Ikea today for the first time. We each got a plant pot and planted five seeds in a pentagram. Fun, lets see if these babies grow.

Redhook seems like an odd place when you see on one side of the highway a low to working class neighborhood and on the other middle class to upper middle class. I don't know why it's weird it's just a feeling. Jeez.

I'm sleepy, night.

Wow i did a lot of chili today, at then end i had eight containers that held about two cup of inedible chili. That's right inedible. Curses cumin and black pepper. Added 5-6 table spoons of cumin and about three table spoons of ground black peppers for only 1.5lbs of ground meat. Major ew. Instead of throwing them away i'm storing them in the freezer to season future chili, just add tomatoes, meat and bean then presto chili. I'll probably add an onion too cause i really like them.

Thanks to my mother i use garlic like crazy. Using from half to an entire clove to cook. Why the hell did no one tell me that my sweat would smell like garlic?!?! For about a week i noticed the strange smell on my face but i never associated with garlic till today when i realized, yea it smells like it. Looked it up online and there it is. Onions ftw garlic can kiss my toes, i still love you tho just not as much.

Some time ago i mentioned to my mother that i might want to go back to church, well today she went and there were fliers advertising weekly sessions for future Catholics, old Catholics, current Catholics that want to know more blah blah blah blah. I have nothing better to do so now is the time once and for all to decide if religion is the thing for me. I can finally get confirmed...maybe.

While on the subject: yesterday i was startled when while waiting for the bus a passing priest waved at me. I was so puzzled by it that all i could do was stare. I should kick myself.

Is a religious deity sending me signals? My mother doesn't even go to church that often and the meetings start on Thursday, what major coincidences.

On the subject of my mother shes getting surgery this week. Finally she can stop bleeding!! She was close to losing her uterus and had severly low iron, i forgot what she had but they cause her to bleed at odd times sometimes heavy sometimes lights and it's been going on for a few years. My Godmother told me i'll have to take care of her, cooking and cleaning no problem but i don't want to bath her, selfish i know but come on. She might go to my aunts house and i'll probably go with.

Well time to sleep in this annoying heat and before i forget some pics of my tofu bean soup/stew/wtf thing.




Tastes much better than it looks ^_^